I know, I know. Your reviews are in and my Divertimento Number 2, Variations on the Madness of March, from the Caligula Suite, was a bust...both critically and financially. The Arizona Wildcats took a dive early and even my beloved UCLA Bruins bowed to Kentucky (more Wildcats) in the Sweet Sixteen; did you, Coach Alford, forget that you just can’t give Kentucky’s guards shooting space? (Reminder: Per my gold bond guarantee to you subscribers who took my advice and bet accordingly, you’ll get my NCAA Hoops Tourney picks for next March absolutely free!)
Now let’s move on to grimmer matters, namely the future of this great land of ours. Expect today’s roiling political scandal to beggar all scandals previous. It’s coming, and sooner than expected. Expect a constitutional crisis to follow, leading to a murky future fraught with peril.
For you brave sorts who can confront the carnage, I will remain your faithful reporter attempting to track the Byzantine particulars of Trump’s deal with Vladimir Putin—and how much of this once-great land of ours is now owned by Uncle Vlad. Need I remind you that it was I who tipped you off last Oct. 7, on these very pages, on the suspicious doings of Lt. General Michael J. Flynn and Fixer Paul Manafort in Russia and Ukraine, respectively? Now they are front and center in a conspiracy that threatens to break up your beloved country before your eyes. I intend to chronicle the Russian subversion of our once-esteemed democracy, all in keeping with my past employment and the motto of this blog: Thank God for schadenfreude!
For you frail folks who can’t bear to watch the carnage, I suggest you take a healthy dose of tranquilizers...or slumber aids—and sleep early, deep, and long. Shakespeare, as usual, said it best in Macbeth (2.2):
...Sleep that knits up the revell’d sleeve of care,
The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher of life’s feasts.
You might even consider binge reading The Bard. In any case, sleep with hope in your heart, ready to awake anew and be delivered to the aborning nation of Pacifica!
See you there.